So... I took a break from this blog. I didn't mean to. But leading up to lockdown, life got busy. And then during lockdown my brain got a little fuzzy and it's taken a while to get back into good habits. But I started this blog for a reason and it feels too early to give up on something without giving it my all.
So this piece is me, trying to get things back on track.
I'll start with a roundup of all the things I've been contemplating, reading and watching over the last two months (damn, how are we near the end of September??).
Stuff I read
Well, I read less than I have been for most of the year as my long term relationship with the library was put on hold and also, the aforementioned lockdown fuzzy brain. But the few books I did read were awesome and appropriate for my mood.
How to not die alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, Logan Ury
A somewhat bleak choice during lockdown. But I really enjoyed this book, and would happily recommend it to any single ladies out there because surely I'm not the only one on the planet in need of a little guidance.
How to not die alone is a very practical guide to dating and relationships, drawing on behavioural economics. Given I'm normally sceptical of both dating advice and behavioural economics, it's a miracle I'm such a fan (slight digression but...I think a lot of the instincts around behavioural economics are basically right and the approach is laudable but my gripe is that some people really stretch the conclusions and put way too much weight on theories that are sometimes based on shonky psych studies).
I loved the economics sprinkled throughout the book, and even though I remain sceptical of some of the studies (I cringed when the famously debunked 'paradox of choice' jam jar study was mentioned), I was willing to buy into many of the concepts.
I also realised I've been an idiot by failing to conceive of the dating universe as just one big matching market. And as a Kiwi Indian over a certain age, my market's already thinner than others. And there are a bunch of other economic concepts that fell out of that: signaling, network effects, search costs, optimal stopping theory. I wish I'd done this analysis sooner. It seems so obvious now: the lowest cost, highest reward option for me right now is dating.
Please look forward to my forthcoming paper on the economics of the dating market for Kiwi Indian women. I'm going to have to put in a lot more research.
Masala lab: The science of Indian cooking, Krish Ashok
This book was good! It's all about the science behind Indian cooking and why we cook things a certain way and in a certain order (and when it's OK to break the rules). It's almost disturbing how much I learned from this book. Why am I only now learning about how to layer flavours? Or that powdered spices are pretty much just aromatic sand (OK, I probably did know this one but have been too lazy prep my own masala and a part of me still wishes I didn't know the truth). It's a good book for younger generations who didn't grow up learning to cook the traditional way and absorbing all the basic instincts. It's also a good book if you're like me and feel that understanding the science behind something makes it even more wonderful (my appreciation of wine, for example, increased tenfold once I read about the science and geography behind it).
I think I'm going to have a lot of fun using the lessons from this book. One thing I took away from it is to treat your cooking like a science experiment: change one or two variables at a time to see how the final result fits with your preferences. I like this because it takes away the crushing disappointment of cooking a less-than-amazing dahl or curry because it's all just part of the experimentation process. Plus, experimenting helps with troubleshooting exactly when in the process the recipe went awry.
I picked this book up from the library after lockdown because I felt like I needed a bit of motivation. And I'm still thinking about it which makes it a good book and if it's a good book then I should make sure other people hear about it too. The premise of the book sounds a little corny: Shonda Rhimes, a highly successful and publicly acclaimed woman, commits to saying 'yes' to everything for entire year. Thankfully, the book's so much more than that. First, Shonda Rhimes is a beautiful and compelling (and funny!) writer so even if the content was bad it would've been a good read. Grey's Anatomy fans will love the Christina Yang references too. And this is the perfect book for introverts. Her descriptions of her once debilitating fear of public speaking vibed just a little too well. The main takeaway for me was just understanding a bit more around the default preferences of introverts and the importance of challenging those defaults sometimes.
Things I've been watching
I'm ashamed of how much Netflix I've managed to get through. And worse, how easily my brain slipped back into binge watching after years of training myself out of the habit. But it's done now, and I did discover some gems. This is a very abridged list.
Om Shanti Om
I wrote a whole roundup of excellent Indian films and didn't include Om Shanti Om. I've avoided this epitome of Bollywood for a long time because I assumed it would be too campy for my tastes. I won't lie. It's pretty campy. But also so, so good with a decent storyline to boot. Maybe chalk it up to lockdown, but I went into this film feeling pretty drained. But part-way through the film I found myself grinning. Actually grinning (yes, for those who have seen the film, it was during That Song). And I experienced this new and weird sensation which I think was pure joy? If you're new to Bollywood I recommend watching this after watching some of the big titles, as I think this is a film that rewards people who know their Bollywood. And if you're like me and have watched a bit of Bollywood but somehow skipped over this one, I implore you to correct this immediately.
Love is Blind
I got deeply invested in the relationships in this reality TV series and quickly developed reckons. The concept is about blind dates where couples "fall in love" without seeing each other, but the real juice comes with tracking their relationships when they can see each other and interact in the real world. Good escapism and incredibly binge-worthy.
The Bold Type
The series follows three millennial women working in the journalism industry. As a millennial woman myself, this hit all the right feels: career wins and struggles, having great mentors, the absolute beauty of female friendships, wokeism and not wokeism, and the highs and lows and grey areas of dating.
Daughters of Destiny
Thank you, Netflix for giving me a little perspective. This is a documentary series about the Shanti Bhavan school in India which educates children from the 'untouchable' caste. I would have been perfectly satisfied with a documentary that talks about the importance of education for upward mobility in India, and the importance for girls in particular. But the documentary goes deeper in following the journeys of a set of girls through their education and home lives, and learning to straddle two very different worlds. That is, two very different worlds in India: the educated class and those who haven't had that opportunity. There was more than one 'oof' moment for me watching this series, and you find yourself rooting for those who are able to escape their circumstances while despairing for those left behind. As I said, this is a good watch for those needing a bit of perspective: this is why we fight for freedom and individual dignity.
The Mindy Project
This series needs no introduction or description, right? There are many episodes and I watched them all.
Plans for the blog moving forward
No plans, as such. Except a conscious refocusing towards stuff that interests me or that I care about. If that happens to be policy or politics-related stuff then I know that it'll vibe with certain readers. But if what gets me back into the habit of writing happens to be roundups of my favourite Mindy Project episodes, then I guess we will all just have to deal with it.